January 17, 2011 - Get juicing

I am almost at the end of the giant fruit and vegetable box, save for a few stray apples and oranges and a large quantity of lettuce. Can you juice lettuce? (If not, it will be a good excuse to buy a bunny.)

I did try Googling "lettuce juice" but I only found sites telling me that lettuce juice could treat cancer and prevent "habitual abortions". As of yet I do not have an abortion habit, but perhaps it is worthwhile to establish a lettuce-juice-drinking routine should this situation arise.

I have a large, overpriced and difficult-to-clean juicer to assist me in this task. I bought it when I was on an orange-and-carrot-juice kick several years ago and it has been parked on top of my pantry ever since. I feel sorry for it.

4 days on the wagon.

January 13, 2011 - Remember to floss

Because dentists need love too.

Yesterday I ordered a box of home-delivered local fruit and vegetables. It arrived today and it is the size of a small car. I am baking a carrot cake to try to make a dent in my carrot collection. I have three fruit bowls now. I could open a juice bar.

I put a bunch of the onions in the slowcooker with five pounds of pork. This should work out well.

Am I the only one who thinks this looks like Darth Vader?

January 9, 2011 - Bake my own bread

Is the bread Helga's? Fuck no.

I use the Jim Lahey recipe. It is wonderful and vastly preferable to paying $6 for artisan bread. Last time I made it I filled the inside with spinach, mushrooms, feta and buffalo mozzarella.

It also makes good pizza dough if you smoosh it flat (bake it for around ten minutes at the hottest temperature your oven can get to).

I am going to try some herby-grainy-cheesy variants. Maybe a baguette. 

Death to supermarket bread.

Here is a bread and butter pudding I made with rum and raisins.

January 8, 2011 - Type a letter every week

I have a typewriter. She is an Olivetti Lettera 32. Her name is Olivia.

This year I am going to use her to write a letter to somebody every week and mail it on Monday. 

"Dear Channel Ten,

I am writing to thank you for running Law and Order: SVU repeats on Thursday night. Perhaps you could play Law and Order every night, like you do with The Simpsons? There's more than enough episodes. Seriously, TV1 managed to create a whole pay-TV channel based on nothing but Law and Order repeats.

When I was in Year 9, we did an English unit on current affairs shows. At the end, we had to produce and film our own segment, using all the cliched tricks we'd picked up from watching taped episodes of Today Tonight. I conducted a fake interview with a student portraying a fictionalised disgraced AFL star. We had dolls representing his young family, and old netball trophies in the background to symbolise his premiership wins. I asked him hackneyed questions about his love of the game, and he broke down in manly sobs whilst he defended himself against the "shocking allegations" that he had engaged in lewd acts with one of those flags the linesmen use.

If I could find the tape we made, I would send it to you, since it's considerably better than anything Dave Hughes has done for The 7PM Project.

Sincerely,

Jayne."

Also my resolution to not eat chocolate has been surprisingly easy so far. I have decided to avoid another of my vices: Pepsi Max. They are running a promotion where if you drink ten bottles of Pepsi you get a t shirt. This is nice of them. I won a t shirt in one week. That is a lot of Pepsi Max.

I think I will extend this to carbonated beverages, generally. Except soda-water based cocktails. Of course.

When I went to the gym this morning I completed three whole quarters of a proper pushup before I fell smack on my face. Progress.

January 6, 2011 - Eat more plants

I went and bought one of those magnetised meal-planning charts from Kikki.K or someplace like that, because I'm always finding string beans in the back of the fridge. Or maybe they are asparagus. They are too decomposed to be sure. Perhaps if I make a proper grocery list I won't buy these things and then lose them in my fridge. Also I enjoy writing things like "rice pudding for breakfast."

Hopefully it will help me stick to my resolution to eat more fruits and vegetables.

The planning chart has a column for snacks. I don't really do snacks, so I have substituted alcoholic beverages. Thursday is Sangria Night. Sunday is Daiquiri Day. A Bloody Mary counts as a salad.

I am still figuring out the best way to add booze to Asian iced coffee (the Thai and Vietnamese stuff with the condensed milk). Bailey's or Frangelico are too obvious and also I am kind of bored with them. Is there some sort of palm-sugar-flavoured liqueur? Hmmmm.

I may have spent a lot more time deciding on the "drinks" column than I did filling out the rest of the planner. The word "bacon" also appears more often than most doctors might recommend.